Craig Vick's Scattered Thoughts

Adventures in Virtual Community

Blog Stats


I started blogging with the goal of rich and real communication. I visited other blogs and was delighted with the possibilities of connecting with people I would never be able to meet in less virtual ways. I made a few friends. I’ve had the joy of meeting some of those friends face to face. Then I discovered blog stats.

My son informs me that I need to get about two million hits a day in order to make real money from my blog. My average is two hits a day, so I need to raise that number by 1,999,998. I have a ways to go. My low numbers are in part the result of not posting for long periods of time. If I limit my stats to only those months in which I actually posted something, my hit count goes up to ten per day. That leaves me down 1,999,990.
I’ve developed several tactics to help me reach the money mark. First, I’m going to try to post at least once a week. I may even resort to posting silly pieces about blog stats. Next, I’m asking everyone in my family and all my friends to visit my blog every morning. Perhaps you can do this right after your morning devotions. At least I’m not trying to sell you soap. When you make your morning visit, I suggest you click on every one of my articles. I’m pretty sure I get credited with a hit for each article click. I’ll set a good example in this regard by logging out of wordpress and visiting my blog daily. I’ve confirmed that I get credit for that.
Next, I suggest, dear friends and family, that you tell others to visit my blog everyday. I realize this may be difficult for some. Be bold. I hope to have future posts with helpful hints on how to share my blog. I can teach you how to give a blog testimony. You will learn how to say something like “visiting Craig’s blog changed my life.” I don’t want anyone to be dishonest. If visiting my blog hasn’t changed your life then keep visiting until it does. Also, write down any good things that happen to you after visiting my blog. Include these in your blog testimony. Think of how many blog hits the following might generate: After visiting Craig’s blog everyday for two weeks I won the lottery.
I suspect the above tactics will get me to around three hundred hits a day. I’ll still have 1,999,700 to go. My next move will be to make my blog more blogger sensitive. I’ll need to compile a list of topics from the most popular blogs. I can then use these topic names as tags for my posts. I don’t really need to write anything profound on any of these topics. The tags will do all the work. Controversy’s also good for blog hits. I think I can generate a lot of controversy by acting as if I know just about everything worth knowing and being rude and insensitive to anyone who disagrees with me.
If I keep thinking along these lines I’ll have the most successful blog ever. Of course, I’ll lose my real readers. I understand. You love me too much to let me lose my real self in blog stats. Let’s not love the church with anything less.

2 thoughts on “Blog Stats

  1. This blog post shows that one of the big risks of allowing an adolescent (under 25 years of age) to attend seminary is the development of a habit of sermonizing. I speak with experience.
    “Hi, I’m Bob. I’m a sermonizer.”
    Unfortunately were I to follow a twelve-step program for sermonizers (Sermonizers Anonymous?) I would be tempted to sermonize about that and to my fellow sermonizers.
    The above is a humorous attempt to express my joy in the post to which I respond. (It’s a perfect or at least near-perfect mix of humor and call-to-attitude)
    Bob Griffin
    also known as
    The Philosopher Known as
    Ilya Der Keschian,
    collaborator with Askil Nyapa Drepons

  2. You’ve correctly diagnosed the perils of our seminary acquired addiction. Il y a toujours des questions a ce que il n’y a pas de reponse. For the uninitiated, that’s the tag phrase Bob and I use to sum up my philosophical knowledge. It means “There are (still) questions to which there are no answers.”

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